Fanboys Gabe and his friend Newl were looking for games for their steam library at value, when they came across Sanic R. Gabe was going to ask how much it was, but when he got to the counter, the sales person said the game is free to play butt u hav to get premium 4 hats. When Newl herd the sales person say, “hats” he dropped his pants and ran ogre to Gabe. “Did he say we could get hats?” he askd. Gabe was going 2 shake his head yes when the sales person said "No you hav to buy premium for dat." Newl grabbed Gabe by his arm and proceded to shove "my sims" up his ass. When dey got to Newlz howz, Newl got his steam and Sanic R, and put the game in his mouth. When the game sterted they didn’t see Sanic or Knaklez dey only saw what look like Gaben. Newl thought dat it wuz just a glitch or dat someone fucked it, but Gabe new it wuz more dan a glitch or a hacked game. Much more... Sexy. The 420th thing they notice when Newl started the first race was dat the track was somewat bright purple and blue and the music that was playing was “Drop it”, but playd lowd. Newl thought that is was a sexy song, but Gabe thought the game was sexy. He didnt think that their copy wuz the only sexy version of teh game. He thought all of the copies were made sexy by Lord Gaben. When Newl beat teh first race he unlocked supr Sanic. Gabe knew that Newl hade a fetish for him but Newl didn’t question how he got him, but he did stand up and cheered for himself. “Why do u hav Sanic fedish m9?” asked Gabe.
“POTATOES ARE MOIST!!” Noah screamed excitedly. “Why are you questioning it, Gabe? You know you love the way he twerks in my divia art posts.” “Something feels weird about dis game,” Gabe said scratching his butthole “The game feels sexy or something.” "You’ve been watching too much porn.” Newl said “You know I watch that shit Newl.” Gabe said. Newl finished his 9000th race with Supr Sanic. He wuz about 3 quit the game becuz it sucked butts when the game said prepare your anus. When the “Prepare Your Anus” screen faded away, the scren faded into a picture of a butt and stayed there for about 5 weeks. It then cut to a picture of Sanic being violently attacked by what looked to be like a stuffed animal version of Gaben and laughter for a split year, then it went to the race.
When the race started, Supr Sanic was standing on the track by himself after the “Ready. Set. GO FAST!” was said. Supr Sanic started to go fast. Gabe looked over to Newl and saw that his hands were on his pingas. As soon as Supr Sanic crossed the finish line Newl was able to let go of his Pingas, and what looked like a sack of potatoes was right behind him. When Supr Sanic and “the stuffed Gaben” crossed the finish line, it looked like “Gaben” won but it said Supr Sanic won. That’s when it said they unlocked The Gaben Doll and “crate”. When this happened Newl and Gabe both looked overly exited. “Is that a thing where u can get hats?” Newl asked Gabe and all Gabe could do was jerk off. Newl went to open the crate but it asked for his credit card.
“Whatever you do, don’t put in Ur moms visa wrong.” Gabe warned Newl. But Newl didn’t listen and put it up his ass. "U ideot!" Gabe screamed at Newl and Gabe said "don't try to guess what the number was". But Newl guessed anyway and got it wrong. When Newl was done the T.V. started to vibrate. Newl took a hammer out of his bottomless pocket and stated to hit the T.V. with it. The T.V. stopped vibrating. “I stopped the T.V. from vibrating.” Newl said “Yes, we could have unplugged it but that worked better” Gabe said “I have a T.V. in my room” Newl said as he unplugged the system and put it in his pocket. “You do know that your mom and dad are going to kill you for watching duck dynasty on the T.V." Gabe said “I know.” Newl said “But it was worth it”.
They then went up stares to Newl's bed room. When they got to Newl bed room, the obliterated T.V. started to vibrate again and then somehow the Gaben Doll came out. Newl and Gabe were now playing a different game becuz Sanic R sucked. They were playing hotel mario on the CDI, when the doorbell rang. Newl and Gabe went to answer the door. When they opened it no one was there. Newl closed the door when the doorbell rang again, Newl opened the door and no-one was there. He closed the door but kept his hands on the his pingas and went upstairs to move on with his life. The doorbell rang again, but Newl took out his hammer and smashed the doorbell. But the doorbell rang anyway. So Newl went down and opened the door again. The only thing that was there was a Gaben Doll. Newl brought it inside the house and washed what looked like pee off of it in his mouth. When he washed the pee off he threw it away because it didn't give him hats. That’s when The Gaben Doll stood up and flew out of the trash and on to the floor.
He then walked to the stairs and he flew up them then he went to Newl’s bed room. Gaben then felt the urge to masterbate. Looking around the room he said, “Hey Newl, do you think were being watched?” Gabe asked Newl. “Are you sure you don’t watch too much porn?” Newl asked Gabe. “Of coarse I’m sure!” Gabe said. “I have to go to the bathroom.” Gabe said. As he was walking to the bathroom he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It looked like a Gaben Doll so he turned towards his pingas and didn’t see anything. He looked to his right and didn’t see anything. He thought that it was his imagination and went to the bathroom. When he was going back to the bed room he saw something move so he went to go see what it was.
He then saw it move again and walked towards it, Gabe saw The Gaben Doll and walked over to pick it up and bring it to the room. When he brought it up and showed Newl it, Newl asked Gabe “were u masturbating in there?” “...” Gill said. “I was fapping in the kitchen.. Anyway lets play Sanic R again!” Newl said. “No the faking game suks!” Gabe said.
“Yeah, so?” Newl said. “Just because it is a Sanic game does not mean it's good.” Gabe said. “I DONT CARE IT HAS HATS AND I WANT SOME!!!!!!!!!!” Newl shouted as he shoved the game up his butt again. He then played a race The Gaben Doll, even though it ominously showed up on his doorstep covered in pee, and as soon as he started the race, Gabe left becuz it sucked. That was when the Gaben doll came to life. Newl and Gabe both stood up and walked towards the door. Nrwl opened it and they both went gotta go fast down the stairs and almost got to the front door when The Gabe Doll fell in front of them and fucked Newl with his razor-sharp pingas. This made Gabe very horny and he grabbed a baseball bat from his bottomless pocket and started swing at The Gaben Doll, each hit missing. He swung it one last time before The Gaben Doll caught it and broke it.
Gabe then stepped on its head and it died because it is a FAKIN DOLL! And because he was dead, half life 3 could not be made. So then all the characterz came out of the TV and started trying 2 kill him for some reason. Butt they were easy to kill because they all were just dolls. The lesson is don't shove your moms Visa card up your butthole.